‘Pinch, punch, the first day of the Month’
January has come and gone much the same way a pickpocket might steal your precious something away. In my case the precious something was time. It is the 1st day of February I cannot put my finger on it, but I sense a feeling of bamboozlement is taking place – time, once again slipped through my fingers, and became apart of my enlarging past, like an unceasing memory.
I have started a new job with a UK charity that has opened me up to lots of new experiences and lots more for me to learn and do! I have peppered my ‘spare’ time with lino carving, printing and reading – all alerting me to the fact I still and always will have so much to learn!
Over the past winter months one can feel as though one were an ‘inmate’ within the spell of hibernation that silently encapsulates Hay at this time of year. Recently I have become aware of a ‘heavy-lightness’ that is upon me like a weightless parasite. It seems to me the world is changing under human thumb yet again and who can say what the future holds. Half the world rejoicing and the others, trying to keep their feet on the ground without despising and fearing the new paths paved for them by those who celebrate. In my mind, gravity is losing and every day I am ever further adrift.
Occasionally I find necessity in distracting myself from it all and allowing the body to function – as if living off my own brainstem. I find myself averting my eyes and ears from the news and this way my body and mind is unaffected by the chaotic macrocosm around me – for a time.
My goldfish keep me in surprisingly good company. One might assume they are un-interactive creatures yet I find them quite the opposite. They provide a continuous swathe of beauty throughout the day. Without a doubt they are effortlessly graceful as their scales reflect the light from the window in a multitude of shades. The four of them dip and dive through the water and slink in, out and about the giant seashells. They are changeable in mood. Sometimes they are very animated, other times they are at rest and look on toward me in a sober, philosophical manner. It is in that gaze I could mistake them for my personal version of Jiminy Cricket – my unspoken conscience.
My partner is working away and I have found life to be awfully dull not to have someone to say “Good Morning!” and ‘Night Night” to. It is the goldfish who prompt me to utter the comforting phrases daily while Jonathan is away.
Goldfish get hungry and when they do so they arrange themselves in a vertical, linear formation and swim noticeably up and down with great effect. This dance always reminds me of the hour and with that the time for tea! They like to greet me through the nearest side of their huge glass jar as I enter the room, giving me the illusion of welcoming me back home.
Below are some pictures of my recent art and my ‘popup’ studio space. Love and angel wings seem to have appeared out of the depths of my artistic subconscious self and it feels right.
“…fill the cup that clears To-day
of past Regrets and Future Fears-
Why, To-morrow I may be Myself with Yesterday’s Sev’n Thousand Years”.
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